In Service of Self? A riddle

Sermon

Ahe, Ahe, Ahe! Welcome welcome

Ahe, Come oh Holy One!

We are the children of One Creation

From every Nation, in every Tongue

We speak as One:

Salaam walaikum, walaikum a-salaam

Shalom, shalom, shalom

Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti, Om

Peace be upon you, upon you, and you and you and you

Peace be upon you.

Greetings beloved friends. My name is Razia Aziz – I am a One Spirit Interfaith Minister – and I am delighted to have been invited to give the sermon today on the subject of SERVICE. I have given it the title “In Service of Self: a riddle”. We normally think of service as ‘serving others’ – wise people of all nations and creeds have called upon us to serve others – and I cannot argue with that. But where does that leave our selves?

Come, let us go on a wild tour through the mysteries of this riddle.

It starts with noticing here and now. And it starts with science.

Just pause for a moment and notice. This moment. This place, these people, these walls, the spaces in between. Experience this. Then know that all if it is alive - alive with light, and energy and electromagnetism. If the favoured theories of science are to be believed, everything that exists, every one of us, every spec of dust and every crawling insect, every breath of air, and every shaft of light arose from a single point – a singularity of infinite density, exploding outward in a cataclysmic moment over 13 billion years ago. If this be true, can you imagine how intimate we all were in that singularity? Not a hair’s breadth, not an atom’s breadth between us. A lot has happened since then! But in the words of the song by Joni Mitchell – “We are stardust” – that is not poetry, but fact. Now we seem to be apart, separate – but are we really?

Physicist superstar, Professor Brian Cox, said recently “everything is connected to everything else”. He was referring to the Pauli principle in quantum physics, which says that no two electrons in the entire universe can occupy the same quantum state simultaneously. What does this mean? Well, if I rub my hands together, what happens? Try it… Yes, your hands get warmer. The change in temperature means that electrons around the atoms in your hands have changed their quantum state. Now here’s the wonder of it: Professor Cox pointed out that implies that every electron around every atom in the entire universe must be shifting to make sure that they are not in the same quantum state as the electrons in your hands. Wow! By us warming us hands in this way, there is an effect in far off galaxies – and in each of us, and the chairs we are sitting on… Now Professor Cox understandably gets upset when spiritual people read too much into science. But, just as a private thought - if that does not point to the possibility of a single fabric of Creation, I don’t know what does!

We live in a world which, far from honouring the idea of a single fabric of Creation, seems to be making every effort to tear it apart: conflict, poverty and obscene wealth, homelessness in rich countries, starvation and eating disorders, forced migration and colonisation, inequality between and within nations, climate change – as a species we seem to excel in atrocities and injustice, paying little attention to our impact upon our neighbour, other species, the planet.

We live in world where the measure of our value seems to be how rich, powerful, beautiful or talented we are. If we are not vigilant, from cradle to grave we can be caught in the hamster’s wheel of competing and vying for advantage - for the best exam grades, the company award, the winner’s medal, the control of money, natural resources or land, with little attention to others. Our happiness becomes a function of how much we can acquire: money, possessions, fame, influence, Mr or Mrs Right, children, a nice house.

Even if we are engaged in charitable work, there are all kinds of rewards to tempt our fragile egos: our name on this plaque; our picture in the paper; our position on this or that board of trustees; a handshake with the Queen.

This of course not the whole story – there are many notable exceptions to this state of affairs. And when we listen to the wise, they call us to a different set of values, and they often speak of ‘service to others’. Now let’s be honest - that message seems very worthy, but rather dull, doesn’t it? I can just about manage a little service – or a financial donation - to others less fortunate than me to make myself feel virtuous - but what’s the point beyond that? Beyond that, serving others can feel like a duty, which - out of guilt - is grudgingly given.

Sufi Hazrat Inayat Khan once said “Life is intoxication”. And, of course intoxication, if we’re not mindful, once tasted, leads easily to addiction: every single one of the world’s rewards gives us a bit of a high – a dopamine hit. And, as anyone who has been addicted to anything knows, we are never satisfied with a single fix! Hardly have we achieved one of these hits, than we find ourselves hungry for the next, bigger one: a bigger car, a better holiday, a new prize.

Now I am not a person of many obvious vices: I don’t drink or take drugs, I hardly eat meat, I don’t break my marital vows, nor engage in fraud or tax evasion, I don’t steal, lie, injure or kill. And in terms of addiction, I’m not too easily seduced by money or possessions. The things that lure me are far more subtle, and perhaps more dangerous for that: spiritual attainment, recognition, adulation. I want to be loved, liked, respected, admired. I want to become self-realised – preferably achieving before my so-called friends!

I, I, I, me, me, me, my, my, my, mine, mine, mine – it comes in many different guises, but it is always the same underneath. What are your guises: what are the things that lure you away from being fully awake to the oneness of life – and drown you in the intoxication of life?

Now stop. Breathe. Look around: soften your gaze upon yourself and each other. Remember the singularity? Let’s perceive as if with eyes that know the oneness from which we all came, which somehow spawned particles and waves, stars, planets and galaxies… Now, can you see how we have taken these masses of subatomic particles, with their ever changing quantum states, and out of them created an illusion of separate beings with separate interests? Just humour me for a moment and say “YES”! [pause]. Now consider for a moment how we have bestowed upon one of these separate beings the glorious title of ‘I’: it’s what Albert Einstein called ‘an optical delusion of consciousness’. And consider how we have held up this ‘I’ as an idol to be worshipped above and beyond all others.

And what is this ‘I’? As Vipassana master SN Goenka points out - when we look deeply into it, the organism we call ‘I’ is not at all stable. It is constantly changing: at the finest, quantum, level it cannot be pinned down in one place for a trillionth of a trillionth of a second. What hope does it have of keeping its identity over an entire lifetime? It’s only hope is the story of ‘I, I, I’ which we tell ourself and others, and which gives it the impression of stability. As SN Goenka says, we feel so angry, so restless, when anyone says or does anything against this ‘I’, or against what belongs to it: ‘my’ body, ‘my’ friends or family, ‘my’ belongings, ‘my’ church, ‘my’ country, ‘my’ values or opinions, or ‘my’ habits or customs.

What incredible attachment we have to this ‘I’ - and what misery we cause ourselves and others at the service of it. Just think, I lose my new iPhone 8 – latest model, maximum data, all singing all dancing - and it’s as if the world has ended. I cry, I rage, I feel depressed. If my best friend, or my spouse, loses their new iPhone 8 – latest model, maximum data, all singing all dancing, I don’t cry! I tell them they should not have been so careless! When my ego is in town – even my nearest and dearest don’t get a look in. In the words of the song by Sparks, “This town ain’t big enough for the both of us!”

But, you may protest - Isn’t that what everyone does? Isn’t that part of being human? Yes, indeed it is. And we humans as a species are destroying the planet, engaging in wars, creating division, hatred, poverty and misery, all because of this ‘I’, this ‘my’ this ‘mine’. Thankfully, this is only a part of what it means to be human.

No wonder that wise people through the ages and around the world have stressed the importance of service to others! Of course – it is the obvious remedy for all of this madness.

But when we listen to the words of the wise, we may find that the riddle of service only deepens. Let me give you some examples and see what sense we can make of them:

Mahatma Gandhi “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”

Martin Luther King Jr. “Everybody can be great...because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.”

Yet Ramana Maharshi says: “Your own Self-Realisation is the greatest service you can render the world”.

How VERY confusing: Am I supposed to be GREAT or NOTHING? Am I supposed to CHERISH MYSELF or ERASE IT? How can I LOSE MYSELF and FIND MYSELF at the same time?

I stop and listen… Ah, then the real question comes, like a thunder clap: Razia, which self do you cherish? Which self are you trying to realise? Which self must you lose in order to find your true Self?

Jesus of Nazareth once said: ‘35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

Now, I don’t think it was just because he disliked poverty, hunger, isolation and suffering – Jesus was not just concerned with the trials of the human body, which is born, ages, sickens and dies - he was concerned with the state of health of the soul, the heart or what today might be called consciousness. He wanted his followers to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, forgive their enemies, visit the sick and the prisoner, welcome the stranger and do unto others as they would have done unto them – not out of pity, and not only to alleviate the other’s suffering - and certainly not to puff up their own egos – but to free themselves from the prison of ego – to realise their most Holy Selves. And here’s the twist: whenever we give lovingly and unconditionally to others, expecting nothing (not even a thank you) in return, we dissolve a layer of the self that worships at the altar of ‘I’, ‘my’ and ‘mine’. We become lighter, happier, more peaceful. And we enter a new understanding of Self in which the ‘other’ is not in any way separate from us. This is far from drab – it is strong and lasting and filled with light.

What could be a greater antidote to the underlying sickness of the world – and the egoism that causes us so much pain - than dissolving the distinction between the ‘I’ and the ‘other’? Remember Jesus did not say ‘Love your neighbour and hate yourself’, but ‘love your neighbour as yourself’. That means you have to love yourself – or you certainly won’t love your neighbour, particularly when they do something that really annoys you! Sufi Hazrat Inayat Khan said ‘Do not say of your friend “I love him – he is my friend”, but say “I love him, he is myself’.

Thus, are we are called upon to love ourselves. But loving ourselves does not mean running after the ephemeral prizes that the world values and dangles in front of us. That is not loving, that is craving. There is nothing wrong with these prizes – fairly won, they can certainly bring pleasure. But they are not, I would contend, the main purpose of our being here. The intoxication of life would have us addicted to the world’s prizes – and addiction brings with it not just pleasure, but the need for the next fix – and grave disappointment and depression when things don’t work out – as they won’t much of the time for most people.

Loving ourselves means opening to an expanded sense of Self – the one that knows that all of Creation is one, continuous reality. Now I can’t prove that we are all part of a single Creation, and somehow all part of each other. I sense and believe it, but why should you? Perhaps neuropsychologist David Eagleman is onto something when he calls himself a possibilist in spiritual matters – he does not rule out things that are not yet proven if they are consistent with the facts before him – he accepts that they may be possible.

Perhaps, rather than believing unthinkingly in any one religion or faith, or being wedded only to what science has proven as fact, more people could be possibilists – allowing for the possibility that there are other explanations for the things we find mysterious than the ones we have favoured. It may right now seem a mirage or a fiction, but if we could learn to live as if the expanded Self were possible, how much greater would be our understanding, compassion and care for our neighbour, the stranger, other species, the planet? Maybe it would make us pause in our hunger for succeeding at others’ expense. Even if that Self elusive, the actions it would lead us to now could make the world a much better place.

When we understand this – really understand it in our bones, not just in our heads, then there is no contradiction in the words of the wise. To love one’s Self and to love one’s neighbour are one and the same. To erase oneself and be all the same Great are not in contradiction. To serve one’s Self is a serve to all.

The physicists say there are four forces in nature. I say, what if there is only one true Force? What force other than Love could make us overcome our intoxications in order to honour the reality of a single web of life in which everything is connected to everything else? And what is egoless service but Love in action? As the great poet of India, Rabindranath Tagore, wrote: “I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy.”

True service is neither a do-gooding ‘charity’, nor is it self-abasement. I have seen too many good people try to run themselves into the ground in their eagerness to serve others. They become casualties of their own lack of compassion to self – and they take their near and dear ones with them. True service is neither for the ego nor for the ‘other’. It is simply the unfolding of Love’s work in the world through an expanded sense of Self.

Love turns the world on its head: to love your enemy is to dissolve the very idea of enmity; to welcome a stranger is to reject the very idea of anyone being outside the circle of friendship; to turn the other cheek is to undermine the very idea of offence or defence.

The one whom we seem to serve ceases to be the needy person to whom we - in our smug generosity - deign to give our time or money. They become for a blessed moment our Saviour: healing the sickness of mind that led us to believe in separation; giving us back the Self we misplace every time we accept the idol of ego in place of the true likeness of God. (Yes, finally, I used the G word, but that’s another story for another day…)